Friday Five: Quotes from The Office

Last night was the sixth season premiere of The Office, and in honor of that, I’m listing some of my favorite quotes. This was almost an impossible task because there are fabulous quotes in pretty much every episode, but here are some that are memorable to me. “That’s what she said” does not make the list because, well, it’s obvious. 🙂

1. Michael Scott: “Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information.” I actually used this quote in a handout I gave to my students about the pitfalls of using Wikipedia as a source.

2. Andy Bernard: “I am a great interviewee. Why? Because I have something no one else has. My brain. Which I use to my advantage, when advantageous.”

3. Michael: “Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I don’t know… I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me. No, don’t sue me… that’s the opposite of the point I’m trying to make.”

4. Dwight Schrute: “When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered, that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.”

5. This is an exchange between Jim and Dwight, possibly one of the best ever:

Dwight: Welcome to the Hotel Hell. Check in time now. Check out time is never.
Jim: Does my room have cable?
Dwight: No, and the sheets are made of fire!
Jim: Can I change rooms?
Dwight: No, we’re all booked up. Hell convention in town!
Jim: Can I have a late check out?
[pauses]
Dwight: I’ll have to talk to the manager.
Jim: You’re not the manager…even in your own fantasy?
Dwight: I’m the owner….co-owner. With Satan!
Jim: Okay, just so I understand it…in your wildest fantasy, you are in hell. And you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the devil.
Dwight: But I haven’t told you my salary.
Jim: Go.
Dwight: Eighty thousand dollars a year!

Honorable mentions:

Dwight: “Once I’m officially regional manager, my first order of business will be to demote Jim Halpert. So I will need a new number two. My ideal choice? Jack Bauer. But he is unavailable. Fictional. And overqualified.”

Michael: “I love inside jokes. I’d like to be a part of one some day.”

If you watch The Office, what are some of your favorite quotes or favorite episodes?

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Friday Five: Gilmore Girls Quotes

For this week’s Friday Five, I’ve chosen five quotes from my favorite TV show of all time, Gilmore Girls. There are a lot of quotes to choose from, but I picked ones that really stuck out to me. Enjoy!

1. Spoken by Paris about a student she’s tutoring: “She’s got a C average which means she’s either lazy or stupid. I can work with either. Frankly sometimes stupid is easier. I can scare the stupid out of you, but the lazy runs deep.”

2. Lorelai: Huh. You know what I just realized? Oy is the funniest word in the entire world. I mean, think about it. You never hear the word oy and not smile. Impossible. Funny, funny word. Poodle is another funny word.

Emily: Please drink your drink, Lorelai.

Lorelai: In fact, if you put oy and poodle together in the same sentence, you’d have a great new catch phrase, you know? Like, “Oy with the poodles already.” So from now on, when the perfect circumstances arise, we will use our favorite new catch phrase.

Rory: Oy with the poodles already!

Lorelai: I’m telling you, it’s knocking “Whatcha talking ’bout, Willis?” right out of first place.

3. Paris: “I can’t help it. Any way I look at it, I’m right.”

4. Sookie: I am so sad…and mad. I’m smad.

5. Jess: “Great, then we can hold hands and skip afterwards.”

Honorable mentions

Paris: “I don’t see anyone here who shouldn’t be sterilized immediately.”

Lorelai: “Copper boom!”

Luke: Rory’s not here yet.
Lorelai: Then you’ll have to entertain me until she arrives. Okay Burger boy, dance.
Luke: Will you marry me?
[Lorelai is taken aback]
Luke: Just looking for something to shut you up.

Logan: Rory, you’re special.
Rory: Like “stop-eating-the-paste” special?

Lorelai: “The plural of cul-de-sac is culs-de-sac? That doesn’t even sound like English.”
Rory: “That’s because it’s French.”

Okay, guess I should have just done a top 10.

If you’re a fan of Gilmore Girls, what are your favorite quotes? If you’re not a fan, I am sad for you, but feel free to share any other memorable quotes. 🙂

Friday Five: Favorite TV Shows

This list is hardly exhaustive, but it does include shows that I love and could watch episodes of over and over again.

1. Gilmore Girls. If you know me at all, you know that I love this show. I loved it from the very first episode and continued to watch it faithfully until the end (even though the quality of the storylines diminished over time). There isn’t a show with wittier dialogue and more intriguing characters, in my opinion.

Favorite episodes: The Pilot; The Deer Hunters (when Rory hits a deer on her way to take an English test and then totally flips out in class because Mr. Medina won’t let her take it); Love, Daisies and Troubadors (when Max proposes to Lorelai and Rory and Dean make up and have an amazing kiss in front of Chilton); Luke Can See Her Face (when Luke realizes he’s in love with Lorelai); Raincoats and Recipes (when Luke and Lorelai kiss for the first time); Written in the Stars (Luke and Lorelai’s first date); You Jump, I Jump, Jack (when Logan introduces Rory to the Life and Death Brigade); the entire second and third seasons 🙂

2. Boy Meets World. I have seen every episode of this show as well, and I literally grew up watching it. It will always be close to me heart, even though it too lost quality as it progressed. (And it made me crazy that the character of Eric went from being this happy-go-lucky heartthrob to a complete goober.)

Favorite episodes: when Cory is cast as Hamlet in the school play and then quits; when Cory and Topanga make up while at SeaWorld; when Cory and Shaun lead the class to strike after reading The Grapes of Wrath; when Shaun finds a girl’s purse and falls in love with her because of the contents, and he realizes it’s his friend Angela.

3. The Cosby Show. Classic comedy. I love it.

Favorite episodes: when Rudy’s fish dies (Vanessa: “Your fish has decreased.”); when Theo wants to move out and Cliff uses Monopoly money to demonstrate how he will barely be able to survive; when the whole family lip syncs to the Ray Charles song “The Night Time is the Right Time” (and Rudy sings “Babyyyy, Babyyyy, Oh Baby Baby!” Watch it here); when Denise tries to make Theo a knockoff designer shirt.

4. The Office. So many quotable lines and funny scenarios. And of course, Jim and Pam! Love it.

Favorite episodes: Diversity Day (when Michael runs his own diversity training course); The Injury (when Michael burns his foot on his George Foreman); Casino Night (Jim and Pam kiss); Gay Witch Hunt (Oscar is outed by Michael); Fun Run (Michael hits Meredith with his car).

5. LOST. I am often completely blown away by what happens on this show. It has some of the best characters on television.
Favorite episodes: Confidence Man (when we first learn about Sawyer’s con man past); What Kate Did (when we see what Kate did that made her a fugitive); Live Together Die Alone (when the Losties decide to wage war against the Others and then some are taken hostage); One of the Them (when we first meet Ben, who was then calling himself Henry Gale); Dave (when Hurley and Libby bond); Greatest Hits (when Charlie dies trying to save the others); The Constant (when we learn more about Desmond’s past and his relationship with Penny)

What are some of your favorites?

American Idol: Top 7 (Again)

Since the judges saved Matt last week, we still had 7 contenders for this week’s disco theme. No one was truly terrible, but no one was all that exciting, either, with the exception of my man, Kris Allen. He rocked “She Works Hard for the Money” and made it sound amazing (it didn’t sound much like disco, but that’s not really a bad thing in my opinion). I really hope he makes it to the finals, since he’s basically the only remaining contestant I care about.

Click the video below to hear his performance, complete with a picture of that adorable and yet bizarre facial contortion he makes when hitting high notes.

Tonight 2 Idols will leave us for good. My predictions? Lil and Anoop.